Inside

The dumbbells weigh on my soldiers 

in their technicolour feather faces, 

a wanting mirage that would crawl up  

inside your veins, 

gain access under your nails, 

a poison dart and a sickly hue. 

Your blood turns the wrong shade 

of blue, 

your lips the mottled misery of 

tanned leather. 

There’s a bubble that grows in my soul, 

surrounds me like a cushioned guard 

and whispers all is okay 

when inside those walls 

turn foggy, 

and the rain 

Drops 

through the ceiling. 

The true Pandora mirror 

of a shiny pod, 

the chrysalis that releases you in reverse. 

You try to stare into your eyes 

but the pain you see is too much - 

you look away first? 

I looked away first. 

And I still feel it, 

see the spotty sheen enveloping my 

Heart, 

Pumping with it, 

One, two - 

each time getting tighter,  

fighter, 

renegade in the dirt path and 

diffuse into my brain. 

Your skin feels pale and 

by the hair on your head like straw 

you remember the yellowing of your Grandma’s  

fingers when you danced with 

her in those imaginary fields. 

It is a long corridor, 

distant door 

that keeps getting further 

away until 

you hit it with your outstretched 

arm and wrap your hand 

around its cold reach. 

Knees hit floor, 

I can’t do this anymore, 

its hand shakes your head, 

You're in a hospital bed.